Kingdom of despair volume one
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"The Pain Of Loving The Wrong Person"
My back crashes against the hard wall, my spine exploding in pain. I force myself to look up, then a shoe gets slammed into my stomach so hard I throw up.
"Hahahahaha God, look how pathetic he looks, like a damn mutt."
Reaching up, I hold onto a pendant I've had since birth as I try to stay awake and not pass out.
"100% look how desperately he's holding onto the damn piece of junk."
Looking up, I see my whole classroom looking down at me on the floor, their eyes full of disgust and hatred, all because of the lies of my younger brother, or the true son of the summers.
Then I hear the soft tapping of shoes hitting the floor like death tolls, and then the crowd opens up, spreading apart, whispering.
"Omg, look how cute he is, so much better than this ugly bully who he even called his brother."
"Yeah, even as a man, he looks pretty."
Felix jumps in with a cute pleading tone that makes even the most straight men soften: "Calm down, guys; please don't bully my big brother. I still love him."
He was the master at making everyone see him as the poor victim.
It wasn't always like this.
He was so kind, not that we were swapped at birth. The hospital rushed me, and he was swapped because a nurse was rushing.
The true son fell in love with a family in the slums, the Winters, and I with the Coles.
They never abused him, but he was bullied by other kids for looking feminine, having pale skin, long, silky hair, soft eyes, and being perfect ammunition for kids.
Even after growing up, it got worse; they would touch him and make lewd jokes at his expense.
My life was nearly perfect. I had good friends. I would work out 3 times a week, and I was the boxing champ of my school.
When we found out it was an ancestry day, I was bored and went, and when it came back, I was 0% sure they found him quick. When he came back, he was small and frail.
Mother cried; Sis and Dad were the most stable out of us all, and I did not hate them. Why would I take the love from him for years? I was thinking of leaving, but Felix grabbed my arm to stop me and looked me in the eyes.
His eyes were teary. "Don't leave, big brother; we can all be a big happy family." I saw his face and was fooled and stayed.
It was fine. I helped him work out. He got up to 180 lbs of lean muscle, a decent 4-pack, and okay muscles. I showed him some ways to pin people, even if they're stronger and bigger, with pressure points.
But it started getting weird when we went to the hot spring. He would sit right next to me, leaning on my shoulder for dinner, touching my thigh each time I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
Maybe touching was his love of language, but I was blinded by his innocent act to see what he wanted.
One, as I was at my computer, he walked up behind me. "Big bro..." Turning around, I smiled at him "Hey Felix, what's up?"
He looked down like he had just stolen a candy bar. "I-I need to tell you something."
With shocking speed, he wraps his arms around my neck and kisses me, his grip strength staggering even though I've been training for my whole life.
When I pushed him off, I tasted something bitter, but I was shocked and wanted to make excuses for him; maybe he tripped. It was a mistake. I was shocked.
His hands behind his back, "I always had a crush on you, big bro. I saw you on TV and fell in love at first sight."
I didn't know what to say; my brain was just too in shock to think. When my brain rebooted, I grabbed his collar. "FELIX, WE ARE BROTHERS EVEN IF WE ARE NOT BLOOD; IT'S WRONG. WE CAN NEVER BE A THING!"
This is one of the first times I ever yelled at him. As I stood to take him back to his room, I started to get hot and dizzy.
"Felix wh-what did you do?" "It's okay, big brother. I'm going to take good care of you"
I could feel it all, seconds bleeding into hours; it didn't hurt. It made me feel dirty and used, as if I were just some toy to be used and disposed of like a rag after cleaning the toilet.
After a while I passed out. When I woke, Felix was right next to me with a face of bliss. I got my world crumbling, then I saw them in a comment feed.
[Is the second male lead this pitiful? It's sad to think how he will end up as his brother's meat dildo at the end]
[Come on, it's a dark romance; you knew what you were getting into when you bought it]
[But is this not like child abuse material? They are still 16]
[dont give me that same person who was reading "my older brother's daughter is a temptress" when that 30-year-old man who knew her since she was 12 grew a crush on her. Even if they were adults when it happened, it's still gross]
That's when I learned my life was that of a BL novel character that was nothing more than eye candy to women who wanted to see mindless man-on-man action. I learned how Felix would imprison me
Get Mom, Dad, and Sis to think I abandoned them. Mom and Dad would get into a crash, sell Sis to her crazy female stalker, and slowly make me into his toy.
I couldn't tell anybody who would believe their whole life was a lie, so I just started to distance myself from him.
When he wanted to go to the hot springs, I said no. When he wanted to work out, I denied him that. He started his act; he hired someone who looked 80% like me. He was only slightly shorter and had green eyes.
But all they did was give him eye contact and height-boosting shoes. He was not dumb; he paid him in crypto or paid in cash by taking out a small amount to pay him.
They didn't want to believe it, but the videos showed someone who looked like me doing it.
I couldn't even defend myself. The evidence was too solid that Felix knew my schedule. He knew all the times I was alone I was trapped. My mom would cry, Dad would scold, Sis would stare, and Felix would hide behind them.
Then the school heard that friends abandoned me. The ones who had crushes on me cursed me even though my childhood best friend had to leave from harassment.
I was alone for the past 3 years; when I came back to the present, Felix was crouched in front of me and stretched out. "Come on, big bro, please, this is breaking my heart"
My fists were in balls as I slapped his hand away. "To hell with you and your forgiveness!"
Then a kick to my head: "Felix gave you an out, and this is how you treat him. You need to learn your place!" Then punches and kicks ran down. I saw Felix being led away, eyes and ears covered.
It felt like hours before everyone slowly left. I just lay there, a shell of who I once was.
Then I stood and started walking. Alfred and Claire haven't given me money in weeks. Only the small amount I found off the street, my friend from Europe, and Felix's game kept me fed.
Plus, it was late, and no taxi would take me.
When I got home, a gold ashtray was thrown at my head. "WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU? WE WERE WORRIED SICK!"
I don't even respond. What would I say? I was being bullied by classmates; they would just think I was lying for attention.
His voice was loud. "YOU DAMN BRAT, ALWAYS RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST A BULLY"
Returning to my room, I start packing my clothes and things I bought with my own money. After they cut my cards off, I grabbed my birth certificate and social security card.
I was so tired of this but then i heard soft foot steps i smelt is soft cinnamon "older brother why must you be so difficult just give in to me whats the point in all this fighting if your just going to lose"
He walked behind me and wrapped his hands around my waist, and it made me sick, so I pushed him off. He screamed out loud and hit my desk.
His head splits open and starts to bleed. Then Mom, Dad, and Sis come in. Mom covers her mouth and rushes over, holding him close. "My poor baby"
Dad looks at me with pure rage. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M DONE WITH THIS. GUARDS, TAKE HIM TO THE COLD ROOM!!!"
My eyes bulge as two big guards grab me. The cold room was a storage closet, but they turned it into a torture chamber for me.
They dragged me in and tied me to a thick metal rod in the center, and I could hear the conversation between Dad and the butler, James. "Don't kill him; just make it hurt and don't hold back because he needs to learn there are consequences"
I was engaged, and I just looked at them. Mom and Dad don't even look back as they leave and Sis only stares at me with revulsion as she leads Felix out.
James walks over and pours bone-chilling ice water over me i shiver bucket after bucket after bucket my body shaking so hard my bones felt like glass.
After a while it stopped. My head slumps forward, breathing heavily before a splitting pain spreads across my back. I force my head up. James has a whip-blade tip meant to slice open skin. James was skilled at countless things.
Strike after strike pain exploded over my back. I ...